the diary labeled 1998-2000...

In the midst of spring cleaning, I came across a diary labeled 1998 - 2000. It was my first poems diary. I had written dozens of poems, some of them are kiddish, and others are way too kiddish, but what amazes me is that I did manage to write a lot from 1998 - 2000, more than what I had written from 2001 - 2005.

Here are few of of them...

le ja mujhe..

I have been struggling

beseeched by my soul

to find that grove of love

that can tie my fragments

back into me..

maybe in another place

maybe in another world

maybe in another universe

maybe in another time

"le ja mujhe, saath tere

mujhko na rehna, saath mere.."

it's been a while...

Sitting by the window,

I see dark clouds in the sky..

Weather has been miserable,

And I can feel the cold inside..

Pitter patter rainfall,

Drowns my thoughts..

Hoping for some comfort,

Something to make me feel alive..

And I see her picture,

I see her face shining bright..

At the dusk, in a far away world,

With a glow that is mesmerising,

With a hint of a smile..

And I wonder,

What's on her mind..

Haven't heard from her,

It's been a while..

counting starts

"Sab Jag soyeee

Hum Jaage...

Taaron se kare baatein..."

Is it insomnia?

Maybe it's the new bed, new house..

Maybe it's the loneliness..

Maybe, just maybe...

If only that someone, and not just anyone, but the one that's meant to be... If only I could see her lying next to me.. To watch her breathe as she sleeps, to smell her breath under mine, to see her smile as she dreams.. To watch her wake up with a smile, to run my fingers through her hair, to hold her hand, to hold her close to my chest.. I will be willing to live with this insomnia till my time..  but then I'd want to fall asleep in that moment and never wake up...

Your eyes are twinkling brighter than us...

Maybe it's her in my eyes..

Maybe we should leave you at counting...

this is not a dream...

His eyes caressed her face as she tried sluggishly, in vain, to conceal the blush. "Have I told you that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met?" "I'm not", she replied glancing away from his eyes. He moved his hand to rest over her hand; his fingers tracing the curves of her palm. "You need to see yourself through my eyes..." She moved her eyes to his face, trying to read his mind, searching for reasons that'd make her believe that it’s not true, that its not happening... even though she wanted this to be true... He moved his face close to her face and she closed her eyes as he whispered in her ears, "This is not a dream...", and slowly moved his lips to brush against her lips as she moved her hand to hold his face in her palm...

the watchman

The night was silent except for the occasional rustling of leaves. The days were not longer anymore; nights had become unbearably cold, and his age was no longer by his side. Grey hair, broken spectacles, torn blanket wrapped around him, a walking stick, and with a kerosene lantern flickering in the winter breeze; the watchman sat on the steps in front of the lake staring at the horizon in anticipation of sunrise.

3-things post...

Here's the 3-things post Swaps tagged me for...

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
Anand (My real name)
Andy (Used to be my nick whn I was studying in Delhi. Salil still calls me by this name!)
Aanoo (My parents call me by this name)

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
viper (When I used to play Delta Force 2 online by this screen name)
wind_in_woods (I still use this yahoo id for yahoo messenger. It comes from a poem of mine "your smile...")
ouzymandiaz (Inspired by the poem Ozymandias by Shelly)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
My mind/brain (I used to be a book-worm :-D)
My heart (Always helps me taking a right decision for myself)
My eyes (I've been told so many times, I wonder why? I guess it's worth putting down...)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
My tummy (I've put on some weight recently which I badly wanna lose)
My hair (I've been loosing hairs recently)
My height (I wish I were couple of inches taller... would've had a career in basketball)

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
Honesty (Comes from my parents)
Integrity and Principles in life (Comes from my dad)
Cooking (All the men in my family are pretty good cooks! And I ain't braggin 'bout myself :-D)

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
Not being able to live up to the expectations of people around.
Not being able to achieve my goals, ambition and most importantly my dreams.
Having regrets in life.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
Cigarettes.
A drive in my car.
Listening to music on my comp.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
Blue proline jacket with sporty looks.
Baige coloured Lee-Pajamas.
A proline t-shirt that a friend gifted me.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
Respect.
Faith.
Love.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (In no particular order):
I'm gonna sign up for guitar classes.
I'm gonna sign up for waltz classes.
I'm gonna sign up for swimming classes.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
Eyes.
Mind/brain.
Hair.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
Not get married anytime soon.
Wanna go for a drive all night long.
Wanna drink some more.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
Software - CRM (My current field).
Software - Supply Chain Mgmt.
Software - ERP.

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
New Delhi.
Switzerland.
Murfreesboro, Tennessee USA.

THREE KIDS NAMES YOU LIKE:
Ariana.
Aryan.
Neha.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
Get married to someone special, with whom I can spend my life (I still have to find that someone!)
Make sure that I have no regrets in life.
Make sure that I lived to the expectations fo people around me.

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
Aditya
Deepa
Ezabeth

who are you?

It escapes free

A stream of glitter

that shines bright

Like a sparkle atop a cliff

In the middle of the night

I see her eyes...

The room is dark and cold

Filled with years of yearning

Of companionship and togetherness

And then the words wrap me

Keeps me cosy and warm

All through the night

I hear her voice...

soul searching

One is looking for someone. Is she the one?

She is looking for someone. Is he the one?

One would have to sail on a boat and brave the waves to trace the ocean and measure it's depths!

decisions decisions...

Half my career is a long stint in a company. All this while I was so occupied with work that I never gave a second thought to the sedimentation slowly clipping my wings. No, I'm not unhappy with the rating, promotion and role;  from a higher rung I can see many wannabes where I once stood. Success does not spell satisfaction anymore. A victim of stereotyping, my soul is fading into the void of stereotyped blue achievers. It doesn't matter how good I am at things I do. I'm headed for crossroads driving blind. How long can you stay at a place you don't belong? A question I have asked myself time and again... Decisions decisions... The Dream Within...