another sleepless night...

Voices in the ears,

words loose their meaning,

and fail to strike a chord

in the heart.

The head rests on the pillow

in the hour of darkness.

Dreams become remote

as eyes accustom themselves

the the weight of 

insignificant thoughts,

devising means

to foster stupor.

Constantly being consumed

by the void,

the soul relentlessly aches

to secede from the body,

and abandon the materialistic.

Another sleepless night...

day dreaming...

With clouded thoughts in my mind, there I was, standing on my terrace, at sunset one evening. Weather had been cloudy for some time. Suddenly, just over the edge of the horizon where sun was setting, the sky opened its arms to me and cleared the clouds away. I could see the sun, fading into darkness... And at the same time I could see the stars lighting up, twinkling in the sky..., fireflies in my eyes... like flickering dreams in my mind...

A dream so beautiful, that I hadn't dreamt... But I know, I'm on a hilltop, in some countryside. And I am watching this moment pass by. And I so badly want to share it with her. I could feel her presence around me. With my eyes frantically searching for her, her name escapes from my heart, and I call her name at the top of my lungs... I knew not if I'd ever be lucky enough to have this moment again in my life. Just when I was about to give up, I felt the silk of her arms underneath mine, holding me by my shoulders from behind. I couldn't see her face. Then she moved to my side as I held her hands...

I closed my eyes and I could feel as if I'm floating. The fragrance in the breeze was familiar I thought, as it filled my lungs and I let out a sigh! I could feel her presence, her voice, her touch on my skin and in my mind. I saw her around me, and yet she wasn't there...

"I didn't know where the heaven ended and earth began..."

mAtHeMaTiCs...

Amalgam of innocence, day-dreaming, happiness... I had an amazing childhood, except for the fact that I was pathetic when it came to academics. But things changed in graduation. One fine day, the subject that I used to get petrified just thinking about, dawned to me and I instantly fell in love with it. "mAtHeMaTiCs".

Thanks to a friend, recently, I stumbled upon a long lost desire inside me to pursue higher education. So I started my preparation for CAT. "If I can crack the University entrance exam, I can crack the CAT ", I thought.

I was practicing the first chapter, Number System, of a book I bought to prepare for CAT, and the words that I heard in my mind when I read the questions were, "Kuckoo kuckoo! Yoooooooo Hoooooooo! Tring tring! Ding dong!" I couldn't believe myself that I have become so rusty with the subject! *%#@~%^#*@%~*#%@ I was swearing at myself. I looked at the questions and I went WHOA! Haven't seen these kind of questions ever in my life. Though there were tips and tricks to solve them, but purely judging by the looks, they scared me...

I couldn't take it at that moment. I was scared... just like the way I used to be, back in school! Got up, made myself some black tea, lit up a cigarette, and stood by the window. Somehow I managed to get back to the book and I started working out all the questions.

At about 1:30am, I decided to call it a day and I closed my books, switched on the TV and moved to my bed. "When Harry met Sally" was showing on Star Movies. It's a cute movie. I have seen it couple of times before, and I like it so much. All the while I was watching the movie, I was thinking, "I solved this question in this way, and I solved that question in that way, and the tips and tricks..." Hell! I wasn't even asleep and I was dreaming already!

I like it… I hate it… Whatever... I know I just can't shrug it off. So I might as well enjoy it... :)

conversations...(Part 3)

"...I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Please try and understand... I can't... I'm so sorry... Please try and understand..."

"You don't have to say anything more. And I don't wanna talk about it anymore. I have to go early to work tomorrow. Can't keep staying awake all night. Good night and good bye..." 

The sound of silence filled the room...

conversations...(Part 2)

"Hellooooo!" 

"Hi!"

"When do you plan to leave from office?"

"I don't know. I think I'll be late tonight."

"Hmmm... Maybe we can catch up for a late dinner?"

"Mom has already cooked dinner at home. You know how she reacts. If you'd have called up before, I'd have asked her not to cook."

"I know. But I couldn't have helped it. I was busy in the office, and I just reached home."

"Thats okay. There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Sure thing. Tell me..."

"About an hour back I got a call from my dad."

"How is he? Is he still in Cal?"

"...I don't think its the best time to talk about this. Maybe tomorrow. I need to see you."

"Well.., you could tell me what is it all about. Curiosity kills the cat you know..."

"Its not funny..."

"What happened?" 

"I'll talk to you later..."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine... I guess..."

"Tell me. You are definitely not okay, and neither you sound like you're okay."

"I don't know. I don't know how you'd take this"

"Why do you say so? What happened?"

"Dad said..."

"Hmm.... Well its a problem that we shall have remedy for."

"I don't know. I am very upset, and since I spoke to my dad, I haven't been back on my desk. I guess I should be going back to my desk now."

"I'll call you in the night. Take care..."

The sound of wind chimes filled the room...

conversations...(Part 1)

"How long are you gonna take to get ready?"

"I don't know. I need to take a shower and water ain't hot yet . Gyser doesn't seem to be working here."

"It sure is very cold out here."

"Isn't your mom wondering where you are right now?"

"I told her I'd go see if you are ready."

"Its very cold here. Why don't you come and sit by the fireplace here?"

"Do you remember how all these years and so many times we wanted to get away to a place like this but could never find time for ourselves?"

"I missed you..."

"I missed you too..."

"...Will you marry me?"

"Yes!!!." 

The light from the burning firewood filled the room...